Top 15 Different Meanings of Meanings

Do you feel like you’re living in a world where the vocabulary of young people has passed you by?  Do your kids and grandkids talk to you and you have no idea what they are saying? When you watch a TV show or movie, are you only understanding every other word because what you thought was the meaning, just doesn’t seem to fit the context?  (Or maybe you need a hearing aid.  Hard to tell.)

You are not alone in feeling confused.  Definitions have changed.  Terminology that we “maturians” (I just made that word up…..good, huh?) are familiar with are totally different now. What meant something years ago, doesn’t hold true today.  Certain words have taken on very different meanings.  How did this happen and who determines what those words mean?  It doesn’t matter, because you are old and totally out of it.   But – because I am kinder and gentler now, I’ve decided to help you all with some clarifications.  True – you could just go to Urban Dictionary , look some words up, and talk all bad-ass.  But – I’ll get things started for you…….from kinder, gentler Julie to you – I offer my top 15 Different Meanings of Meanings:

Hmmmmm…..what does all of this mean?

Hmmmmm…..what does all of this mean?

Open A Window – In 1976, if my mom told me to open a window, I would’ve opened one of the kitchen windows in our country-based home.  The recently spread pungent manure would “delicately waft” through the screen while we gagged and lamented that the local farmer ruined a perfectly good summer evening.  Now…..when my kids tell me to “open a window,” they mean for me to open a new tab on my computer.  Not smelling the compost on this one………….

What can we see in windows?

Can’t really see out of this window

Sick – OK……I seriously don’t know how being sick has gone from vomiting your guts out to being totally awesome.  How did this noun evolve into an adjective  and go from being repulsive to resplendent?  At a recent family gathering at my 86-year old parents’ house, I  asked, “Did anyone see the recent episode of Ridiculousness?  It was sick.” My mom immediately got me a bucket to puke in.  I confused her.

Bad – bad is now good; awesome; kick-ass.  You need to incorporate this word into every other sentence, otherwise your kids and grandkids will not take you seriously.

I'm thinking we all might need to read this book

I’m thinking we all might need to read this book

Gay – if you were to use this word today to mean “joyful”,” cheerful”, “convivial,” no one would get it.  Nowadays, “gay” is only used to mean “someone of  homosexual persuasion.”  If someone asked you how you were feeling and you said, “I’m gay,” the person would tell you where and when the next Pride parade was.

Wicked – when I was growing up, the only time I really heard the term “wicked” was when the Wizard of Oz was airing and the reviled Wicked Witch of the West was in her glory.  Today – wicked means great, awesome, sick.  The fact of the matter is…….no one is getting my ruby slippers.

She's so wicked, she's wicked!

She’s so wicked, she’s wicked!

Pot – Oh!….the various meanings!  Cooking utensil, cannabis, toilet….”a pot to piss in.”  How can one word mean a euphoric inhaled substance, culinary saucepan, and  privy all at once? It’s really quite gross if you think about it.

Text – this used to refer to a book…..the written word transcribed on paper; a manuscript.  Now, it’s a short version of a series of words and abbreviations typed on a phone screen (hopefully while one is not driving).  And the autocorrect usually makes for some hilarious communication!

Dope – in my day, “dope” described someone that was stupid or ignorant.  They usually sat in a corner of the classroom with a dunce cap on.  Then it became a slang term for marijuana giving the connotation that those who smoked dope acted like a dope. Presently, dope means cool, swell, terrific!  This is an example of a truly negative word working its way into one of the most highest regarded fun words of all time!  

It's dope to be a dope www.kieran.net

It’s dope to be a dope
http://www.kieran.net

Cell – today everyone knows you’re talking about your mobile phone. Back in the day, one might use the word cell to  refer to jail.  But it WOULD be totally dope if you had a cell in your cell and could text….unless you’re him.

Who the hell gave this guy a cell phone?   www.prisoncellphones.com

Is that the iPhone 5s?
http://www.prisoncellphones.com

Plasma – years ago plasma often referred to the words “protoplasm” , “body fluid”, “blood stuff” unless you were scientific and knew that it really was a state of matter.  Now it is a type of  expensive TV and if you don’t have one then you are not dope.  “Dude – let’s watch the game in my man cave on my big plasma!”

Cloud – the puffy, fluffy stuff in the sky.  In the olden days, we used to lay on our backs in our untreated lawns and gaze at the clouds in the sky.  We were content to spend 8.315 minutes identifying shapes, people, animals, etc. forming in the clouds.  It was relaxing.  Our deductions and thoughts didn’t go anywhere…..we just had fun determining what the clouds were showing us.  Nowadays, photos, messages, etc. are transmitted through the cyberspace cloud and miraculously distributed among all of our cellular devices.  You can even send photos to other people’s devices if you share a cloud!   I have photos on my iPad and I have no idea how the hell they got there.  Is someone sharing my cloud and I don’t know about it?  As the Rolling Stones once sang – “Hey, you, get off of my cloud!”  Man – they were before their time!  Dope song….let’s take a listen:

Chill – Back in the day, chill was a noun.   You got a chill for numerous reasons, like if you were sick, or sitting in a drafty location; or if something spine tingling caused a chill. Today – it is a verb and means to relax, take it easy, veg.  In this high-stressed contemporary world , it is important that everyone should just chill before one of us goes and busts a cap.  My feeling is that – if you have chilled wine, everything will be just fine.  This is why I drink a lot of chilled wine ……..so that I can chill.

Get this woman some wine stat! www.getfitjess.com

Get this woman some wine stat!  She needs to chill!
http://www.getfitjess.com

Moss – the green stuff that grows on rocks and stones and such.  It’s slippery as all get out when it’s wet.  Nowadays it means chill…..see above.  For instance, “Why are you getting all worked up about Obamacare?  You need to just moss.”  How does a noun all of the sudden become a verb?  Guess it’s just an example of this multi-tasking environment.  If we homo sapiens are expected to perform separate tasks simultaneously, well…..dammit…..so should our vocabulary!

Diaphragm – back in Anatomy and Physiology class, everyone learned where their diaphragm was located……in the chest cavity where it separates the chest from the abdomen (OK…..I cheated and looked it up cuz I learned about this years ago and I didn’t know if anything had changed since then.  Plus  – my A&P professor wasn’t very good.)  Nowadays, if you were to go up to a random female and ask her where her diaphragm was, she’d either slap you in the face or tell you that she didn’t own a diaphragm……just not her cup of tea.

Word – this is the silliest of all the different meanings.  We all know what the word “word” means.   We speak in words, we write in words, words are elements of speech strung together to form sentences.   Hipsters today use the word “word” to mean “I agree.”  Here’s an example:

Me:  Sidney Crosby is the most awesome hockey player EVER!

Kevin:  Word…..he’s the best

So, speaking of word…..I’m out of words…….I’ve completed my 15 different meanings of meanings.  There are countless others, but  these were ones I came up with in the past 30 minutes.  Oh, WTH – I confess – I spent DAYS coming up with these words!  Feel free to add your own in the comment section on my blog page.

Advertisements

A Slacking Kinder, Gentler Julie

Happy New Year Friends!

Sorry that I took such a long break from my blog……..I know the 3 of you that read this blog are disappointed that there haven’t been some posts for a while.

Despite my inconsiderateness with not writing, I HAVE been working hard on some rough drafts that will probably go straight to trash.  You need to understand that writing the high quality literary masterpieces that I do takes much time, several rewrites and copious amounts of alcohol.  Actually, I have had all 3 of those elements in my favor over the past 3 weeks, so I’ve come to the conclusion that my friends are absolutely correct……..I’m a slacker!

Astute readers and soon-to-be-ex-friends, Jeanne Perrine Balaoing and Mike Hodgson, recently pointed out (on social media, no less!) that I wasn’t keeping up with their standard of ambitiousness.  They have been busy doing all kinds of trampoline building, painting, house repairs, yoga poses, witty Facebook postings, and other over-achieving activities.

Here's Jeanne and me……..she already has way more badges than me.

Here’s Jeanne and me……..she already had way more badges than me.

Mike showing off his constant building projects….give it a rest, OK?

Mike showing off his constant building projects….give it a rest, OK?

Jeanne and Mike actually called me on the carpet for not being as productive as them.  Little did they know that I was expending vast amounts of energy trying to find a flicker of sun while on a family vacation at Daytona  Beach.  I mean, really – I didn’t expect to leave grey skies and 40 degree weather in Pennsylvania to drive 1,150 miles south  to bask in grey skies and 40 degree weather!  In instances when I glimpsed the smallest ray of Florida sun,  I would race down several flights of concrete condominium stairs, aggressively shove people out of my way while running through the lobby, and sprint to the nearest poolside lounge chair all while stripping off my sweatshirt, sweatpants, knit hat and mittens .  Don’t worry – I had my bathing suit on underneath my winter wear. Usually by the time I got to the lounger, it was raining.  So – yeah……I was actually really busy over the holidays trying to stay warm in sunny Florida.

We are bundled up on the boardwalk New Year's Eve

We are bundled up on the boardwalk New Year’s Eve

The ONLY day of bright warm sun!

The ONLY day of bright warm sun!

Anyway- being with 22 other family members on our holiday gathering in Daytona Beach was tremendous fun and was really the reason why I haven’t been productive.  It was great to just chill (literally) and enjoy family members that I haven’t seen in a long time!  The weather wasn’t great, but the company sure was!

Nothin' but fun here!

Nothin’ but fun here!

Now……while I was busy loafing, I had a chance to formulate my new year’s resolution.  I really don’t ever make new year’s resolutions because that’s just stupid.  But – since I had all of this time on my hands, I decided to go for it.  I thought about drinking less wine……that contemplation lasted about .0000001 seconds.  Then I considered the resolution of cleaning my bathroom every week…….too unrealistic.  So – I settled on something totally subjective…….an intention that can’t be measured, so that I really can’t be held accountable!  Are you ready for this….. my new year’s resolution?  Here it is……..I am going to be “a kinder, gentler, Julie.”  What the hell does that mean?  I don’t know.  That’s the beauty of this resolution! It’s totally abstract.  My measurement of “kinder, gentler” may be extremely different from what others might think.  Kevin says that he hasn’t seen any difference so far, but- who is he to judge??  He’s only known me for 35 years.

I’ve been much more affectionate and obliging with our dogs…….I give Miley numerous tummy rubs a day and Marley gets extra treats, behind the ears rubs and kisses.  I have been putting toothpaste on Kevin’s toothbrush every morning and evening so that it is all ready for him.  And the other day, I was downright charming to a guy at work that I usually don’t see eye-to-eye with.

Despite my new gentler, kinder nature, I will be unfriending Jeanne Balaoing and Mike Hodgson on Facebook.  I can’t compete with over ambitious people in my life.  They just are not going to help me become kinder and gentler.  Oh – I’m just kidding……..I love those guys!  They make me laugh, so I guess I’ll keep them around!