These Invisalign are Crampin’ My Wine

You’ve probably been anxious for an update on how I’ve been doing with my invisalign braces.  If that’s really the case, then you need to get a life!

Here’s a picture of me with my invisalign trays in………..can you tell??  Ok……so – it was 8:00 in the morning and I look kinda sleepy, but look at my teeth…….can you see the trays???

At work and wearing my invisalign like a good patient

In my last post, my sister, Candy, replied that she was surprised that I was begging for Tylenol because my teeth were hurting…….. and why didn’t I  just partake of my go-to drug……….wine?  I thought that this question/observation was remarkably astute of Candy and quite frankly, I’m disappointed in the rest of you for not picking up on that.  I’ll give you a break this time, but don’t let it happen again.  Kudos to you, though, Candy!  Keep up the good work!

There was a reason I couldn’t resort to wine to numb the pain and it caused me great distress. I laid awake for several nights trying to figure out how to ditch the Tylenol in favor of wine.  This is the deal – I am supposed to wear my invisalign trays 22 hours a day and take them out only to eat.  OK……..I can deal with that.  Two hours to eat 3 meals a day is doable.

You can drink liquids with the invisalign in. No need to remove them.  BUT (and as the wise sage, Peewee Herman, once said……”everyone I know has a big BUT”)……..you’re not supposed to drink anything that has color to it while wearing invisalign because colored liquids will stain the plastic trays.  This would include such beverages as  – coffee, tea, blue raspberry icees (which are my favorite), and red wine………yes….RED WINE!!!!!  Are you kidding me??  I can’t drink red wine?? It’s true, though…….If I drank red wine with my trays in, then I’d be walking around looking like this (without the  5 o’clock shadow…..hopefully).

man…….that’s nasty

I knew about this “forbidden drinking of colored liquids” going in to this treatment. I have to admit, I almost didn’t go with invisalign when I found out that I couldn’t drink my merlot while wearing them.  I came “this close” to telling the orthodontist to just slap on the heavy duty metal braces and let me go so I could get to happy hour.   My merlot was waiting and there was no way that stupid plastic teeth trays were gonna cramp my wine.

I like to read,too, while having a glass of wine, but I usually wear my white bra

I know you’re all probably worried about how I am ever gonna be able to indulge in my nightly glass(es) of wine while I undergo this invisalign orthodontic treatment.  I know……..as I said, I was sick with worry about it myself!  But – after many agonizing wine-absent hours, I came up with 3 viable options:

1) switch to white wine (an OK alternative) or other clear alcoholic beverage.  Not ideal, but doable

2) adhere to the below schedule which means removing my trays for the allotted total of 2 hours –

• 10 minutes for breakfast which would include chugging extremely hot coffee and shoving a bunch of pop-tarts in my mouth;
• no lunch because I’m too busy at work to eat lunch;
• 15 minutes for dinner – not including waiting in the drive-thru;
• 1 hour and 35 minutes to sip wine

3)  buy a straw and suck that merlot right past the teeth and down the gullet so I never have to remove my trays

yep……that’ll work

I’m good with all 3 of those solutions.  Problem solved!  Sleep well, my friends!