So – my husband picked me up after work yesterday in our 106 degree temperature car and as we left campus, he took a totally wrong turn to be heading home. Being the front seat driver that I am, he knew that I was going to “delicately” point out that we were not going the right way, so he quickly said…..”I have a surprise and you’re gonna like it.” Given the 100 degree heat, I was hoping we were gonna go jump in a lake (I’ve often been told to do that). But….the surprise was even better than that! We went to a local new winery and did some wine taste testing (me, not him)……..5 tastes for 3 bucks! Not a bad deal….. and I actually used my charming ways to coerce the girl pouring the wine to allow me 6 tastes ! (the trick here is – you just exclaim in a gushing way…..OMG, ALL of these wines look soooo delicious…….how am I ever going to choose just 5 and the server will cave and give you extra tastes because she’s probably had a bunch of wine already herself and she really doesn’t care). Anyway -my husband is not a wino (unlike me) so I did all of the tasting while he basically spent the half hour admiring the gift shop knick knacks, helping himself to fistfuls of “palate cleansing” nuts and hoping that I would not like the most expensive wine. He’s really NOT the best person to go to a wine tasting with, but I like him well enough, so it’s all good.
The wines were relatively expensive so there was no way I was going to do the “hold the wine on your tongue to meld and assess the flavors and then spit it into the beautiful silver spittoon” correct way of wine tasting. No…..I needed to get the most bang for my 3 bucks, so I finished every last drop of vino short of licking the bottom of the glass. Anyway – after sloshing back 6 tastes, we bought a couple bottles of the most expensive wine. I don’t feel bad about spending that kind of money on what amounts to a bunch of fermented crushed grapes……I look at it as a win-win. I support the local winery/economy and it supports my love of wine (read alcoholism).
So – we delicately climbed back into the 103 degree car (we had parked in the “shade”) with my bottles of pricey wine and as we are pulling away my husband astutely asks me, “do you have your wine glass that you used at the tasting bar?” I buzzedly said, “no……wasisupposedtotakeit?” To which my husband reasoned that….usually the tasting includes the wine glass (background info here – we’ve been to all of 2 wine tastings that have used an actual wine glass with the name of the winery inscribed on it and all of a sudden, he’s an expert). We immediately pulled off to the side of the winery driveway to discuss this perplexing dilemma……are you supposed to keep the wine glass that you used to taste the wine? Is it assumed that the wine glass comes with the tasting? Is there a direct correlation with price of the wine tasting and being able to keep the glass? (Feel free to weigh in here and comment on this important protocol issue). Not ones to pass up anything that is free (or that we think might be free), we turned around, drove back up the winery driveway and parked the (by now) 102 degree car. Now……let me brief you right here. I don’t do:
dickering, negotiating, sending anything back to be done correctly, asking pertinent questions, figuring out ahead of time what the total of my bill should be, or pretty much anything to do with being a responsible buyer.
So – as my husband opened the car door to proceed to the wine tasting room to ask about the wine glass, I managed an apologetic look and said, “thanks” but it came out more like “schlanks” – remember – I’ve had 6 tastings of some pretty potent wine. He is so much better at this sort of thing than I (plus he carries a 9mm cuz that’s his job, and that fact alone can make him pretty convincing). If I had gone back in to ask the wine server about the glass, I would have muttered something like this:
Me (stumbling sheepishly back into the joint): Um…..hello…….do you remember me? I was just in here drinking a shit load of wine and well, the wine glass, ummm, is it still here? cuz – well, normally don’t people take or steal the wine glass that they used for tasting, cuz, yeah – if that’s the case I’d like to steal mine now so….. could you just, um, get it out of the sink there and put it on the counter so i can slip it in my purse…..cute dress, by the way.
On the other hand, this is how it would go down with my husband doing the talking:
Husband (walking very self assuredly back into the joint – remember – he’s packing heat): Hello again. Sorry to bother you, but….real quick – I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to take the wine glass with us when we made our wine purchase. When we were wine tasting in the Napa Valley, the wine glasses were complimentary with a purchase, but I didn’t know if that was the case here. No big deal, though…..just didn’t want to leave here without checking…..nice legs by the way.
And this is exactly why my husband went back in to successfully get the wine glass.